you know stockholm long roads on go you can’t even reach me just know whenever you need me we’ll figure it out look up and you’ll see me and i’ll be around cause when i’m home i’m lost let’s go make it look easy oh take it easy on me its still my city it’s still my city
—toronto 2014 by daniel caeser
i can’t believe i thought that i would be so old at 17, i couldn’t even comprehend that id ever reach this age, but now i have, i cannot comprehend being like 30 years old, but one day, that’ll be me as well.
just earlier, i was looking for old blogs just for some inspiration, but i found one where someone was expressing how they can’t imagine being an adult, and the comments were relating and consoling them. this was 2010, meaning they’re all adults now !!? but even then, they couldn’t imagine being older. imagine in 2040, i look back at this version of myself, i can’t comprehend that AT ALL it’s so crazy to think about omg but at the same time, it’s kind of cool? throughout my whole life, i’ve always been the same shreya, but i also feel like i’ve been 1000 versions of myself, a lot of which i would never align with now. i can’t tell if that’s just how it is, growing up, or if the rest of my life will be the same. i think id be okay with both.
where do you think ill be in 15 years? that’s like nearly double my life away. i’ll be 32 years old. that’s how old my mum was when i was 3, and also the year that she fell pregnant with my sister. she also went to nepal and got in a bus accident. and fifteen years prior to that, she was just a kid in high school who never knew that she’d end up living in both nz and australia.
maybe i’ll also have a family, or maybe i won’t. imagine me with kids LOL i cannot imagine that, at all. and a husband !!? omg
i’ll be working a job i love, hopefully. hopefully i’m healthy and well, and that i’m loving my life. i hope im not too nostalgic at that time — i lowkey live in the past, it’s so annoying!!! i need to start living in the present 🎁
i could also be dead or in hospital sick. i saw this tiktok of a girl who worked so hard to get the life she had at that moment. a month or so, until her graduation so she could become a nurse. flights and accomodation booked for a trip in summer. she was studying so hard, all for her life to end before she ever acquired the life she was working for. i always feel so demotivated when i think of that, like what am i even studying for? a life that i could never even get!? but at the same time, what if i never die, so i should try to make life as good as i can, no? idk!!! and also #yolo but in the way that i shouldn’t just be anxious of death and waste my whole life stressed about it.
i also hope that im still in contact with the people i love rn, in 15 years. hopefully still really good friends, but if not, at least checking up on eachother. i hope my parents are doing well. by that time, my grandma would have probably passed:( rn she’s in the passenger seat of my mums black honda jazz, as we’re dropping her off to my aunties house. it’s okay though, i guess that’s just how life is. right now i should appreciate the time i have with her now, especially since she doesn’t even live in australia. one day, i might be a grandma LOL imagine grandma shreya.
does anyone else think and reflect so much when they’re in a car? because #inacarrn i’m typing this on my notes app. we’re a street from their house yay !
i sound so silly talking about this but i want to be able to read what i said, in 15 years, when ill probably think ‘i was so young at 17’
thanks 4 reading ig 😅😅
stay woke, peace out ✌️
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